So, how am I doin? Former NY mayor Ed Koch popularized the 
question during his famous walks around town. What happens when you ask 
your employees for feedback about your performance? They tell you how 
wonderful you are but then when they get a survey or some other 
anonymous way of expressing their opinion, they surprise you with some 
negative, even shocking feedback. It's now clear that on some topics 
they are just not able to honestly discuss face-to-face. It can really 
hurt, especially when you feel you want people to be honest with you. 
But wishing does not make it so.
What is your next step? Your mind
 can conjure up all kinds of understandable reasons why they were not 
honest with you face-to-face. But their lack of honesty is a fact and 
you have got to decide how you will respond. Wasn't it easier when you 
were not "the boss"? You can ignore it and hope it doesn't cause you any
 trouble. You can criticize the survey and discredit the results. Or, 
you can design a strategy so that over time, being honest with you 
face-to-face is easier, less painful for them. If that is the way you 
decide to go, here are six strategies that always help to develop honest
 communication.
Admit your mistakes. Acknowledge that you make 
some mistakes that may at times put your employees in a difficult place.
 Apologize. This makes you more human and easier to approach with good 
news and bad.
Listen to your employees. Be sensitive to their 
communication both verbal and non-verbal. Sometimes they may say one 
thing one time but act in a very different way. This is an opportunity 
to let them know that you are paying attention... completely. You care 
about what their experience is and you want to make it as positive as 
possible. Demonstrate your willingness to change personally and also to 
change the conditions of work.
Solicit the opinion of your 
employees. Be strategic... don't start out by asking them their opinion 
on something that might be hard for them to answer. Make it easy for 
them to share their true opinion. Sometimes you can announce in advance 
what you would like to hear about. That way they can prepare what they 
want to say ahead of time.
Mine for negativity or varied opinion. 
When their opinions seem overwhelmingly unanimous, it's a good clue that
 not everyone is being honest. Push the issue. "Surely, some of you must
 have a different opinion."
Don't punish bad news or challenge 
it... or argue with it. In fact, when things go wrong, or when mistakes 
are made, it can be a real opportunity to change and learn. So, welcome 
and celebrate the reporting of bad news.
Finally, get to know 
people personally. When you know and like someone personally, it is 
easier to be understood. Begin every staff meeting with some personal 
sharing of some kind; everyone invited to participate including you. 
People are always in charge of how much personal information they share 
in the workplace, but encourage it. Over time, this sharing bonds a 
group together in remarkable ways. Positive personal relationships can 
be the breeding ground for honesty, so the next time that anonymous 
staff satisfaction survey comes around, there will not be any surprises.
 
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